Post Baby-Bounce Back

Rush-rush time to get married. Rush-rush time to quit work and focus at home. Rush-rush now time to plan a baby. Rush-rush time to get back in shape. Rush-rush, baby a few months old and no play school yet? Horror! Rush-rush, time to look for work again. Phew! Just writing it, I am exhausted and imagine the brutal rush the society enforces on the woman who has had to deal with extreme hormones, fatigue, a new life of hers and that of the baby to figure out.

Why is it that we as women often find ourselves so vulnerable that our pace of life, quality of life and the very purpose of life is often up for everyone’s opinion and discussion? 

And what exactly is bouncing back?  Even when I looked up the literal meaning of bounce, two meanings came up: to move away quickly after it has hit a hard surface; to make a ball do this and/or to jump up and down continuously. 

So, what exactly are women supposed to do post having a baby? If society refers to getting back to life as before or their sense of usual- that is never going to happen. Then, why the rush?

A new mama is responsible for a tiny life while still navigating this new life of hers with a tremendous amount of responsibilities. And if bounce back means to get back to work, get back to shape and get a hold of it all- is it all really a child’s play? Everything needs time, effort and energy and each and all of this and more is the sole decision of the woman alone. Maybe she wants to take it slow and steady, or maybe her body is still not ready. 

Whether it’s planning a baby, having a baby or raising a baby- none of it is easy. Then why is it that even women who have gone through it all and shed tears in silence out of sheer frustration and fatigue during their times are the most insensitive now and baselessly judging new mamas for every damn thing? If a mama is choosing to get back to work, she is judged for leaving the child behind and if not, then too comes a lot of judgement of her being lax.

Even if we shut out the outside noises, we must be kind to ourselves. We should not try and do it all alone because this was never meant to be done all alone. Maybe a village no longer exists, but through excellent partnership with one’s husband and some hired help, one can also take some time out for themselves.

After endless cancellations of friend catch-ups or pilates sessions, slowly and gradually one will realise just how important it is to spend some time on self and enjoy a bit of calm and peace.

While raising the baby is tremendously gratifying, it is imperative that we don’t compare our journey with someone else’s and also that we do what feels best for us rather than being in any sort of rat race. We have rushed through everything our entire life, but let this journey of motherhood be a little different; let it be a lot more joyful and let it truly leave us with a purpose.

Mama, want to get back to something or want to look ahead to something new- only you get to decide that!

SONALI VIJ